Hello, by the way.
My brain was everywhere this week. "Can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let my guard down and tell (you people) how I feel a second?" -Hamilton: An American Musical (be prepared for many Hamilton references)
Anyways... my just recent boyfriend, AKA my first love, and I broke off all communication on Monday. Sucky way to start the week. It seriously sucks. I put up a fight to get back together, I'll tell you that
The thing is, it's neither of our faults. Our lives just don't align well, and that makes things harder to get over each other BECAUSE neither of us are in the wrong! Anyways, it tore me apart, but I don't think I have ever felt this strong of an urge to improve myself as I do now.
What changed, do you ask? I quit my nanny job in Maryland a couple months ago. I used to put others needs above my own so much that it was unhealthy. It's good to do so to extent, don't get me wrong, but I was seriously having major panic attacks because I was not caring for myself, and absolutely loathing myself. It also didn't help that I felt trapped within the walls of the home I lived, but that's a long story, and I would rather not disclose that on the internet. I would also like to say that I loved the job, and the family needed me, but a make turning point was when I decided I needed a change in my life, and I needed to care for myself first, especially with these scary mental breakdowns.
Quitting that job was one of the hardest, yet best decisions I made in my life. It helped me realize that I do have power to control my life, and it's ok to say "no" every once in a while.
Well, I was vulnerable for longer than a second, but that's ok.
Anyways, today was my best day this week. I did have great half days, I guess you could say. So, I'm going to list some of my biggest highlights from the week...
1) The many messages and phone calls from those who saw my Facebook status on Monday. The response I had was overwhelming. I honestly was not expecting it. I'm grateful to know I have so many people who care for and love me, even though it has been a long time since we've spoken.
2) I was hired by one of the families I interviewed with last week! I am seriously so excited! We're going to do a few "trial days" this week to make doubly sure it's a good fit, then I'll put in my two weeks notice at the grocery store!
3) On one of my days off, I got the whole apartment clean! Being productive is great.
4) My friend, Daniel, trekked down here to play "Arkham Horror" with me! It was a fantastic night full of laughter, fun, great conversation, and dance vids. :)
5) Last night, I got to eat Nutella Oreos and sushi, drank some tea, watched "A Walk to Remember," and cried. I know crying isn't dca fly a happy sight, but I have been keeping myself too busy to cry when I need to. Which leads to...
6) I had a much better day today, despite having to work on a Sunday! I got to hang out with Hannah, AND I put effort into my appearance! My coworkers even noticed it, saying that I looked different today. Pretty much this whole week, I lived behind my hat and glasses because I was too sad to care, but today was a better day. Oh, I also got a good haul of free food because a lot of items were damaged today, so that's always nice, too. :)
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| Hannah and me. Don't mind the puffy eyes. :) |
Well, that's all for this week.
Goodnight, y'all!
XOXO
Mary
Hello Mary. I am a Pastor from Mumbai,India. I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I am also blessed and feel privileged and honored to get connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged, strengthened and praying for one another.I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 38 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a cit with a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. In the past we have had many young people from different denominations who came and worked with us in bring healing to the brokenhearted. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends as well as wishing you and your family a blessed and a Christ centered New year.
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